Before people think I have my own little Phil-worship cult going on here, I’d like to point out that while yes, the last post was entirely dedicated to his film, this one was merely triggered by something he said on twitter which tweaked my cerebellum. He doesn’t pay me, I swear! Plus, I doubt both the readers of this blog will be much of a market for him.

Right, so, grovelling excuses out of the way, what was so intriguing about that quote? I’ll start with it’s subject. I’ve been a CAMRA member for quite a while. I have the utmost respect for what CAMRA have achieved. I’ve been fortunate enough to have visited England a couple of times, and have really enjoyed CAMRA’s presence in pubs, and in absolutely magic beer festivals such as the amazing one Alex and I attended in Margate, Kent. That said, I’ve declined to renew this year. I sense a serious lack of focus and direction within CAMRA, and I get tired of their solution to every regulation-induced problem to be “ask the Government to create yet more regulation”. One campaign I’ve always supported though is May being Mild Month.

I am a huge Mild fan. On my first visit to England, I had some excellent Milds. Elgood’s Black Dog was the first taste (in Cambridge, of course) and after that, I tried them wherever I saw them. I’ve even brewed a few. My favourite was similar to Banks’ Original, and took out a Best In Class at the SOBA National Homebrew Competition a couple of years back. I was surprised, as the sample I’d retained hadn’t lasted very well… but it was a cracker when fresh. That’s another story though…

Britain has always been a nation of classifications. Standardisation abounds, and yet, there is delightful (and less delightful) non-conformity hiding in corners, and in plain sight. In a small pub in Chester, I overheard a punter complaining “that’s never a pint” to the landlady. His not-quite-a-pint was Greene King IPA. I didn’t hear him say “that’s never an IPA”.If CAMRA launched IPAs for April, do you think they’d be celebrating Greene King’s effort? Mild is even more variable than IPA. You have Sarah Hughes Dark Ruby, which is often cited as an example of a historical “strong mild”, but most classification-loving English wouldn’t think it was one. Styles change and shift for so many reasons – economic, geographic, horticultural, as well as the most fickle driver of all – people’s tastes.

And there’s the rub, and the part that suddenly changed my mind on an issue I’ve always been fairly sure of.

Why do we need to “save and preserve” milds if people aren’t that into them? We have a good record of them. We can judge a beer entered into a competition as one. We know exactly what a mild is. Not only that, but the more a beer threatens to fall out of style, the more “the fringe” will always want to brew it, sometimes out of a desire to preserve, but often out of a desire to be different. When a beer style ceases to be brewed, it doesn’t cease to exist. It’s just stored, waiting for someone to resurrect it again in the future.

As homebrewing has grown and flourished recently, moving from that vile stuff that grandad made in the bath to excellent beer which rivals and often surpasses the best of the commercial best, everyone now is a brewer or knows a brewer. If you really want a mild, and you can’t get one down your local, you can always make one or bribe a mate to make one for you. If there are enough of you wanting this, it’s in your local’s interest to provide one, and it’s in their interest to nudge the brewers.

So should the consumer care if the lovely dark beer, with a stunning array of interesting malt flavours, and just enough bitterness to prevent cloying sweetness is technically a mild or not? Should the brewer be made to feel bad if that same beer he has brewed is technically outside the style guidelines? Should CAMRA be flogging this horse quite so hard, when it could actually be limiting creativity, and thus choice, rather than enhancing it? I’m not sure. I’m also not sure it’s a huge issue, but as I said at the beginning, it certainly got me thinking.

Having said all that, I’m well overdue to brew my mild again. It is a lovely drop.

Cheers!

The rules, as Phil explains, are simple. You find a new beer, you drink it, you tick it (write it down). Sounds a little dull? How can someone make a whole film about this? Ah, there’s the magic. The journey we are taken on in the quest for ticks is funny, educational, entertaining, and sometimes enlightening. Phil is a very engaging person, who introduces us to characters like Brian the Champ – the reigning king of beer ticking with over 40,000 unique beers under his belt, Dave Unpronounceable – a likable chap who is more scooper than ticker, and Mick the Tick – arguably the man who invented beer ticking as a hobby. These chaps, and others, show us different takes on the world of ticking. Brian the Champ is the archetypal ticker. He’s just interested in the numbers, and while he is clearly passionate about, and proud of, his native country’s ultimate asset (real ale), he thinks nothing of tricks like bottling samples of ale for later consumption as a way to get more ticks from a single session. I can’t imagine that the flavour and condition of a good ale would be preserved by this method, so what Brian drinks from those bottles isn’t, in my opinion, technically the same beer which went into them. This raises an interesting question as to whether it is really a tick at that point. Luckily for those of you reading this and nodding off, the film does not address this deep question! Dave Unpronounceable, and his partner in crime Gazza, are more the scooper type. They are at the outer edge though, as even though for them, it’s beer enjoyment before ticks, even Dave resorts (albeit somewhat shamefacedly) to bottling some beers when his circumstances dictate a lack of time for some serious sampling.

Phil’s journey from interested outsider to devoted ticker (or more accurately, scooper) throughout the course of the film made for an engaging watch. Of particular interest to me was the fact that he took his new hobby as an opportunity to learn more about beer. Such was his dedication that he even went to Thornbridge Hall to brew his own beer. It was nice to hear a Kiwi accent in the film at this point, as Thornbridge’s NZ brewer, Kelly Ryan, walked Phil through brewing a batch of Jaipur IPA with “Phil’s secret ingredients” – a variation on the hop varieties usually used. Having a friend who moved to England and now brews at Thornbridge made this part even better for me. It amuses me to think that, as the man behind the new Raven black IPA at Thornbridge, James “Kempicus” Kemp will now be giving conniptions to tickers all over the UK as they seek out this limited edition beer for ticking purposes!

Now, before people start avoiding me (more than usual), let me point out that I do not go to the lengths described in this film. I’m more what’s called a “Scooper”. Scoopers are tickers who are more interested in trying and tasting new beers rather than just collecting ticks. In other words, the drinking of the beer is the point, not the ticking it off a list. Scoopers drink for variety and flavour, and will happily drink a beer they’ve already had if it’s a good drop and they feel like revisiting it. A true ticker would consider that a waste of an opportunity to drink a new beer. So really, I’m not that far gone in the scheme of things!

I can heartily recommend this film, though it can be a little tricky to obtain for overseas customers. Your best bet is to contact Phil via his website. He kindly arranged an alternative order method for me, and shipping was quick, reasonably priced, and came with a personal message. Don’t be put off by this one little extra hoop to jump through. Quick Feet is a small independent production company, and doesn’t have the resources of large companies. The end result is well worth it. I didn’t stop smiling throughout the entire film.

UPDATE: Phil comments below “Anyone wishing to buy the film can simply visit the film’s official website ( beertickersfilm.com ) and click buy. I will happily post out overseas! Spread the word, drink beer and enjoy.”

Upon arrival, the first thing we did was head to the ever-awesome Regional Wines and Spirits, to stock up on a few treats and also to say hi to my good friend whom I just don’t see enough of, Kieran Haslett-Moore. After that, we quickly checked into our hotel room, well, I say quickly. We get very lost trying to find the carpark for the place. Turns out we had to navigate a labyrinth of back streets under the motorway. Crazy! Anyway, we eventually got checked in and headed out for an afternoon / evening of beery goodness.

I won’t go into detail, but we had a rather large night between the Malthouse, Bar Edward, and the amazing new Hashigo Zake. I may have awoken at 3am, post earthquake, in the en-suite bathtub, wondering why my bed was cold and hard…

Anyway, I was a little worse for wear the next day, and managed to crawl through an interview on the radler saga with Geoff Griggs for a project by Dylan Jauslin. With that out of the way, I caught up with Alex and the others and we hit Beervana proper.

To the Town Hall, a short wait in line, and we were in. Paradise. The event I look forward to every year. It was great to see so many brewers and beer people I knew, meet a few I didn’t know, and taste some excellent beers. The layout was different this year, dividing the Town Hall into several different areas, and making the process of finding the beer you wanted to taste feel like an exploration. Some were complaining about this, but I loved it. As Alex will testify, it did lead to a few problems. I’d go looking for a beer, run into a friend, spend 10 minutes talking, then realise what I was supposed to be doing. I’d get back from my sortie to a missing wife, having given up waiting for me and my mouth, and gone searching for beer of her own. Never mind, it was all great fun.

I’ll list some highlights here, since that’s what one does in these sort of posts…

• Epic Armageddon from Melissa – a seriously drinkable drop, and I was so glad to be wrong in my prediction that it would be a vanilla bomb and seriously oxidised. Not a bit of it. Just tasty.
• Emerson’s Southern Clam Stout – Almost a clone of the equally awesome Three Boys Oyster Stout, but still an amazing achievement.
• Twisted Hop IPA – My first ever taste of this legendary drop, and I was so impressed I gave it my people’s choice award.
• Yeastie Boys His Majesty – Majestic indeed. I need more of this (hint, Stu, though it’s a long time until my birthday).
• Hargreaves Hill ESB – A searingly bitter and hoppy beer. Not an ESB, more an APA, but made of awesome either way.
• Croucher Pale Ale – And this one’s a pale ale that’s actually an ESB! The hops are back though, and it really is like fruit salad on Weetbix. A great beer from a good friend, Paul Croucher, and super tasty served on handpump.

Honourable mention has to go to Martin Townshend. His Number 9 Stout, and Cathcarts NTA were both tasting on top form, and true to his goal, were extremely “English” tasting.

So there you go. There were other great beers. And other excellent events – I particularly enjoyed Derek Walsh’s cheese and beer pairing session. Derek is a really nice guy, and always has time to talk beer with us beer geeks.

The only downer for me of the whole weekend was that I went so hard on the Thursday night I just really didn’t have the energy for other post Beervana drinks, so missed out on catching up with all the great people I usually love to see in Wellington. Sorry guys. See you next year?

Alex and I trekked up to Auckland on Friday afternoon – any old excuse for some time off work. Our purpose? To witness Ragnarok. No, wait… that’s not it. Doomsday! Nope… still not right… ARMAGEDDON!

We arrived at Brew on Quay around 5pm to find the place already humming. There was a certain aroma in the air. Was it… hops? Yep, that was it. As we approached the bar, we saw why. The infamous Impish Brewer himself was passing out pints like a man possessed. This was a good thing. As I chatted to the Imp, I sipped my pint of Armageddon. Others have raved about the hops, and to be sure, they were more than present, but my lasting impression was a beautifully balanced, supremely sessionable beer. Lovely tropical and citrus hop flavours, combining with sweet and complex malt in beautiful ways. This beer is a temptress, beckoning you to her bed. Except, at a devilish 6.66%, that bed may well be the floor, or the couch at home if you had a less understanding significant other than I do! So, my verdict on Armageddon: it’s a session IPA, and one I’d drink every day of the week if I could get it. Well done Mr. Imp.

Now. Maximus Humulus Lupulus. Massive name, massive beer. This one throws balance and sessionability to the wind in favour of hops. Just hops. But WHAT hops! The citrussy flavours just jump out of the glass and demand your full attention. Several times I was talking to someone, and had to say “excuse me, could you repeat that? I was lost in hop heaven for a minute there”. You get the impression that there is sweet sticky malt there in abundance, but it’s just an impression. There isn’t anything cloying about this beer, but your tongue is numbed from the hops after a glass. It’s a one pint drop to be sure. That said, I’d want that one pint as often as I could get it.

I wish these beers weren’t seasonal releases. They both fill a gap in the NZ market where nothing else exists, and I’d love to be able to buy them all year around. With massive hoppy beers like this though, freshness is imperative, and I don’t think New Zealand’s retailers are yet up to the challenge of ensuring these beers would reach the consumer in tip top condition. Ah, but one can dream…

So, the verdict? Which do I pledge my undying love to? Tricky. See, Armageddon is the beer you want around all the time. The pint after work, the aperitif before dinner, the first pint at 8am in the morni…erm, never mind. Anyway, Armageddon is the “go to” beer of the two. BUT. Maximus is the one I couldn’t stand to never be able to taste again. It’s just unique, and a beautiful example of how to use American hops. Is it a cop out to say I love them both, but differently? I know I could never get away with that with women! Well, so it is, and so it remains. Either way, I want some more!

A very good year!

For my birthday this year, my long suffering yet beer-friendly wife brought me a beer that was brewed and bottled the same year I was! Or something. Anyway, for those who aren’t aware of such beer-nerdy things, Thomas Hardy’s ale is something of an icon in the world of beer. Originally brewed due to the refurbishment of a pub and to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the death of the eponymous author, this is a strong barley-wine style beer of extremely high collectible value.

More akin to a fine brandy than a beer, and reputed to age up to 25 years, this 34 year old example was always going to be interesting.

I opted to share it with some very close beer-loving friends; Phil, Jamie, and Barry (and, of course, my wife Alexandra). We had warmed up on Barry’s home brewed Irish Red ale, and his Oatmeal stout. We decided then to begin with a Thomas Hardy’s ale from 2005, followed by 2004, then 2003, and finally the 1975 from the original brewers, Eldridge Pope.

The 2005 was sharp, and somewhat candied, with a slightly brandy-like bite to it. The 2004 was smooth, mellow, and a slow sipping joy. The 2003 was most people’s favourite, with so much richness – it reminded me of a brandy-soaked christmas cake. But then came time for the main event. The tiny little 180ml nip bottle, the contents of which had been so constrained since 1975. I have to admit, I did not have high hopes.

It poured a beautiful mahogany brown, shot through with ruby red highlights against the stormy light from outside the windows. The aroma was of raisins, fine cigar smoke, and wood – similar to an old chest long misplaced in an attic somewhere. All that was missing was a hint of mothballs, and the mind conjured that up unbidden anyway!

The first sip was disappointing. The autolysis I had expected to dominate was either not present, or had mutated far beyond the usual marmite-style flavour as to be unrecognisable as such. Musty flavours permeated, but the rich, raisiny, port-like quality of the newer batches was there yet, hidden behind the dust of ages. Phil suggested that some swirling had opened his up, and that it may benefit from breathing for a tad. I left mine for an hour or so, until the others had finished and left, and came back to it.

As I sup the last bit now, it really has opened up. Age has not damaged this beer as much as I’d have expected, though I’d doubt it would benefit from any further aging. A sweetness remains, amazingly, gentle, and fruity, against the nutty, woody character which dominates. Notes of cherries are present, as well as dried figs. The finish is ever so slightly sharp and bitter, but with a gentle tannic dustyness.

Wow, what an experience. Thirty four year old beer. I feel privileged to have tasted it, and humbled before the craftsmanship of the brewer who made it.

What a day!

There are some more photos online here.

Anyway, I got the beastie home and hooked it up, anxious to pull some water through it to test the hydraulics. I began pulling, and could hear it priming. Then I could hear water running. But not into the jug I was carefully holding under the spout. In fact, I couldn’t see where it was going at all. Then I noticed. It was squirting out a tube at the rear of the cylinder, into the back of my bar, all over my clean glassware. Damn!

I disconnected it, and took it to bits. I found some interesting things. Firstly, the spout is only hollow to the base, where it connects with the pump cylinder. At that point it’s a solid piece of machined steel! Welded to the spout just above this join is another piece of steel tubing. This IS hollow. At the rear of the cylinder, as explained earlier, is a third metal tube. This is where the fluid exits! Someone has well and truly hacked this beer engine. Why? I guess I’ll never know. Anyway, after cleaning and reassembly, I simply connected a piece of tubing from the rear tube to the spout-welded tube, which then allows fluid to flow correctly out the spout when pumped.

After all that, despite being a “mini-engine” designed for small bars where space is at a premium, it works beautifully. It’s a quarter pint pull, and seems to have no leaks. I just need to bust out the brasso now – all three could use some love.

Here are my three babies in their natural habitat.

I just wish I had the brewing capacity/budget, and army of thirsty friends required to keep all three pumps operating full time. Still, it will be great for the twice-yearly beer festivals!

Being heavily associated with SOBA, things I wish to write often get linked to SOBA’s views. Let me assure you that anything I say here is 100% my own opinion. It might not reflect that of SOBA. At times it might flat out contradict SOBA. That’s what opinions are like. Mine will be hanging out here for any and all to see.

If you’re a frequent visitor to the Brewaucracy Brewery Tap (Saxbys Bar), you might also notice that on the right hand side of the page is a handy little sidebar telling you what’s on tap, and what’s coming soon. It even has it’s own RSS feed! This could be used to plan your visits! Remember, I can’t charge you for it, and it needs to be consumed, so when you drink my beer, you’re doing me a favour.

I might also talk a bit about my partners in Brewaucracy (which at the moment is just a concept, and a blog name), Phil Murray and Jamie Curtis. What exactly is it? When will it exist? What shall become of our bubbly amber plans? Who knows. Stay tuned…

Alexandra and I went down to BrewNZ 2006 in Wellington last week. I’m a bit sad to see that it seems less supported, and much more of an “industry only” type event now. There was little advertising, and what was available was a hastily updated version of last years brochure with new (and occasionally incorrect) information on it.

The festive brews themselves were not very inspiring. Monteiths in particular putting in another pathetic effort, and hiding what tiny amount of character it may have had beyond the horrid sugary sweetness by serving it ice cold and carbonated to the point of pain. Next year Monteiths, I suggest you just don’t bother. If other “large players” can make an passable if not stellar effort (Mac’s, I’m looking at you here), then surely you can do better than trying to pass of cold fizzy sweetened yak urine as a festive brew. Perhaps the BrewNZ organisers should consider a “you must be able to brew a quality beer to be allowed to enter” rule? Anyway, enough ragging on Monteiths. It gets boring, and it’s far too easy.

I mentioned Mac’s entry in passing. They were interesting. Their “No. 8 Pale Ale” tasted suspiciously similar to their new version of Sassy Red. I’d had it before a group of friends tried it (two were stewards for BrewNZ, so I trust their palates), and their verdict was the same, without me saying a word. Spooky. Conspiracy theories anyone? That said, as Sassy Red is a decent beer, I was OK with that. It has a kind of chemical taste common (at least to my palate) to NZ Saaz-B hops that I really don’t care for, but it’s a well balanced beer that doesn’t try to dumb itself down too much for the mass market. I give it a 5/10, but that just reflects that other entries were so much better rather than No. 8 being poor.

I’m not really going to rate Rennaissance’s Marlborough Pale Ale, as it was clearly flawed. All I could taste was diacetyl – it was like sucking on a butterscotch flavoured sweet. A shame, as it could have been good.

The Tuatara Publican’s Pale Ale was a very nice drop. Far more of a traditional English Best Bitter than its seriously hoppy fellow contenders, it was very well balanced, with that nice earthy goldings aroma and flavour, sweetish full body, and lingering dry finish. I could drink pints of it. 8/10.

Limburg’s IPA was not very memorable. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I just really don’t remember it, so won’t rate it here. What I will say is that Shed 5 should be reconsidered as a choice for a BrewHQ. It seems quite cold and sterile, with staff who don’t really “get” beer, and an atmosphere not very conducive to drinking. Sorry Limburg, I’ll try to remember you better next year. I do remember having nothing bad to say about it, so that’s something.

Hallertau’s entry was the most complex and interesting of the lot for me. Their Stuntman Imperial IPA was a beer that I’d like to have taken more time to get to know. My glass was served too cold (unfortunately that’s just how it comes at the Malthouse), so I spent a while letting it warm, but the temptation got the better of me and I dived in too soon. Very little aroma was noticable from such a hoppy beer – perhaps due to the temperature, low carbonation, and the high alcohol impeding head formation. What was there was pleasant and herbal, with a faint noble-hop type twang. The body was full and tongue-coating, just the way I like it! There was an explosion of flavour which I am still unable to accurately describe. I got herbal, slightly medicinal notes, with even a suggestion of pine needles, or mint – not a flavour I am used to tasting in a beer, but one I could get accustomed to. The finish was initially strangely short, but accumulated after a few sips into a hanging pall of bitterness. A seriously impressive experience, and one I’d like to savour again. 8/10.

Now for my two favourites… Epic Brewing’s Mayhem, and Emersons 1812 Anniversary Edition IPA. The Mayhem was just a big hoppy blast. So refreshing, and with a beautiful “green hop” taste, reminiscent of the only wet-hopped beer I’ve ever tried. I love the flavour, but have not the vocabulary to describe it yet. What a shame, I’ll need to work on that! The 1812 was subtle, yet strong. The dominant flavour was a heady mix of vanilla and oak, with the bitterness from the hops coming late and hard. The aroma was just stunning. I could have just inhaled it all day, and not drunk a drop. Two very different beers, yet both so amazingly pleasing. I had a very hard time choosing between them, but I think the Mayhem won on the basis of me seeing myself drinking pints and pints of it, whereas the 1812 was a wonderful beer to contemplate, but not something that would be regularly consumed. It was a “mood beer”. I give them both 9/10.

Same time next year… I’ll be there!

Here we are in Sunny Wellington.  Yes.  Really.  OK, so it absolutely pissed down when we got here on Thursday, and we got totally saturated walking from pub to pub, but that’s OK, as the sun started to peek through yesterday.  Saturday has now dawned with barely a cloud to be seen, and the prospect of many hearty brews just waiting to be sampled!

For those who don’t know, BrewNZ is New Zealand’s only (to my knowledge) beer festival.  Fairly disgraceful when you consider that we are a British colony, and England alone has over 4000 beer festivals per year.  Anyway, for this year’s BrewNZ, James, Alexandra, and myself made the trek to the other “tron” to see what was to be imbibed.

After locating our apartment building (The Terrace Apartments), we found a map and worked out where festive brews were being served.  It was getting close to lunch time, so we made our way to the Malthouse, and enjoyed a pint of Sunshine Brewery’s “All Malt Ale” (or some equally bland and unmemorable name).  It was a tasty drop, but could have been improved by more body, a longer finish, and a slightly better hop balance.  I courted controversy by taking the Monteith’s Wild Food option for lunch, and having the Jugged Hare.  What was controversial about that, you ask?  The beer match was the Monteith’s Radler – a fairly nasty offering that tastes of lollies.  Surprisingly, it really did work well with the citrus notes in the gravy and meat, and provided a nice little lunch option.  Unfortunately, I finished my meal and still had plenty of beer left.  It tasted awful without the flavoursome meat to offset it.  I downed it a little too quickly, and we moved on to the Emerson’s Bookbinder.  James and I both LOVE this beer.  It was even nicer on tap.  A real treat, and a low-alcohol option also, at only 3.7%.  Floral, herby, surprisingly full bodied for such a low-alcohol beer.  Fantastic.  Alex had a wheat beer, which tasted more like a wit.  A better Hoegaarden than Hoegaarden, but the name of the brewery escapes us at the moment.

It was fair pissing down by now, so we came back to apartments, had a bit of a rest after lunch, then headed out in search of more good beer.  We started with Shed 22 (a.k.a. the Wellington Brewing Company.  The folks behind Macs Sassy Red, and the “real” Lion Brown).  Their festive beer is another they are brewing under contract to Macs – Demonic Ruby.  This is a HUGE beer.  6.5%, full of toffee and smoky caramel flavours.  It is a rich dark amber, with hints of ruby (hence the name, we guess), and slips down dangerously easily.  So far this is one of the best beers I’ve had.  It reminds me of Young’s Old Nick, but vastly superior.  I’ll be going back for more.

After the Shed 22 experience, we were feeling quite optimistic about the rest of the BrewNZ festival.  We plotted a rough course on the map to allow us to avoid most of the still-pelting rain, then made a dash to the Courtney Arms.  Big mistake.  This bills itself as an “English pub”, and has St. George memorabilia and dart boards for Africa.  Very friendly staff also, but unfortunately we were there for the beer.  They didn’t have a festive brew on, but we saw they had Young’s Special London Ale on tap.  This is a bit of a fave of James and I, so we had a pint each.  First up, it cost $10 per pint!  Secondly, it tasted so skunked, we wondered if the keg had been there since the pub first opened.  We downed it, grimaced, and wandered, somewhat defeated, to the next pub.  Bodega!  That’s more like it.  Our faith was rekindled.  More extremely friendly staff – thank you “Steph”, you rocked – and free samples of the THREE festival beers that were on there.  The beer was a bit disappointing, but as we hadn’t paid for it, that wasn’t so bad.

The Cock and Bull entry was the King Kong ESB.  This was my biggest disappointment, as I expect quite a lot from the Steam Brewing Company.  Their product is consistently excellent.  To be fair, there was nothing wrong with the ESB, it just didn’t live up to its name, or to my expectations.  It was well balanced, almost to a fault, as with the BrewNZ theme (The Magnificence of Malt) I expected more malt dominance.  It finished early, and left nothing of itself in the mind.  I will have to sup a full pint of this on a clean palate in order to give it a more balanced and less hurried trial.  Can you tell that I want to like this beer?

The Twisted Hop brewery entered an unusual beer called the Islay Porter.  I was unable to judge this as a beer, as the underlying brew is like a blank canvas, and is totally overwhelmed by the Laphroaig scotch whiskey that is added to the brew.  I love Laphroaig, but beer needs to taste like beer, not watered down scotch.  I won’t be trying this again.

The third brew at Bodega was the Tuatara ESB.  This was another very well balanced beer, though it left more of an impression than the ESB.  It had more of a hop profile, with the fuggles hops really coming through.  Probably not appropriate to the theme, but a nice beer nonetheless.  Not a great, but a good enough.

This is getting long, so I’ll skim over Friday’s efforts, as they were largely disappointing.  We started at the Occidental with Monteiths Maximalt.  Why bother?  I mean seriously, do Monteiths even understand beer and brewing, or do they simply brew the same bland crap, and add different amounts of ethanol and colouring to each variety?  The best I say about the Maximalt is that the 6.5% brew left us with a happy glow, which almost overrode the non-existent flavour, texture, aroma, and appearance.  Monteiths, you are taking the piss.

We couldn’t stay away from Shed 22, so after a long, and somewhat misdirected walk around the Crack Houses of Newtown (sorry James), we popped in there for a few pints.  We had the Sassy Red (just a great bitter.  We love it.), the Verboden Vice (a boring but true-to-style wheat beer), a Demonic Ruby (I missed it already!) and a James Squire IPA.  Awful beer.  Avoid.  Feeling a bit unsteady on it, we headed to Imbibe Antipasto for the Emersons offering.  The Lunar Dunkel is an excellent drop.  James was not as impressed as I was, but I loved the toffeelike dunkel.  It was almost a meal in a glass though, and I struggled to finish my pint.  Finish I did though, and we staggered home to prepare for Saturday, and the festival itself at the town hall.

Back home in Hamilton now. We had a fantastic time, though the weather was fairly miserable except for Saturday morning. That said, it doesn’t need to be fine to drink a good ale!

Here then is a summary of what I posted to the NZ Homebrewers mailing list, as it’s easier than writing the same thing twice!

We got to the Town Hall just before 11 am, and commenced sampling around about “opening time” (as James put it). It certainly doesn’t seem too bad when you think of it like that!

The beers were many and varied, though there were not many we hadn’t already tried while out and about. The Speights Chocolate Ale was the first to be sampled, and was not bad for a Speights beer. It at least had some flavour! Chocolate and coffee notes pervaded, with some plum fruitiness in the finish. It could have used a bit more hop balance, even if only for bitterness, and not flavour or aroma. Too sweet for my tastes.

We moved on to the Twisted Hop beers, having only tried the Islay porter before. Their Bitter managed to divide opinion. I thought it initially tasted like dishwater. A few more samples and I had it up a few notches to “pleasantly citrussy, but a bit weak in body”. It wasn’t that bad! James thought it was quite “English”, and got all misty eyed – or that could have been the huge amounts of “samples” he kept having of the Emersons APA. More on that later. I really enjoyed the Twisted Ankle, but found the Islay Porter was just way too dominated by the Laphroaig scotch to rate on its own character. Less so than when tried on Draught at Bodega though. I was speaking to one of the Twisted Hop brewers, and he claimed only 2 (presumably 1125ml) bottles of Laphroaig were used in the (I think) 800L batch. It certainly goes a long way!

Of the other brews we had not already sampled, Sunshine Brewery’s Black Beauty stood out. Enormous malt flavours, and a satisfyingly gravylike mouthfeel. It still had plenty of hop bitterness to ensure the sweetness didn’t become cloying, and there were just so many flavour components that I had to have about 5 samples to be sure I had tasted some of the more subtle elements. That’s my story, Your Honour, and I am sticking to it.

Emersons were excellent as always. I had tried all their beers, but I mention them here due to the effect their APA (American Pale Ale) had on James. He was transfixed. I think he managed to drink about 2 litres of it, all in sample-glass size portions! It was nicer than I remember it too, less of a hop blast, and a bit more balanced. I look forward to its impending re-release.

The Tuatara ESB really impressed me also, but I wished I had taken notes. It was so perfectly balanced, that no particular flavour stands out. A lovely drop though, and one I wish we could get here in Hamilton.

I really enjoyed my first BrewNZ overall, but a few things could be improved I think. Prepare for a whinge, and please remember, it’s just an opinion. Except the stuff about Monteiths. They really suck.

1. The venues serving the festive beers (Brew HQs) should be more rigorously checked. Bar Bodega, while a real fave in the past, and having really great staff, needs to learn to clean their lines. The beer tasted totally different (and better) at the actual tasting itself.

2. Better consideration of which venues are able to present beer. Brickbats to Shed 5, and the Loaded Hog for having NO idea at all about how to present a beer, and knowing very little about beer in general. This was especially sad in the case of Shed 5, as they were blessed with the fantastic Limburg Oud Reserve.

3. Some kind of “you must be this high to enter” standard for who may actually enter a beer. We couldn’t get over just how amazingly bad the Monteiths entry tasted (or rather didn’t taste – utterly bland), and we heard a rumour that the Loaded Hog’s festive brew was nothing but their Hog Dark rebranded. It’s tasteless brown water at the best of times, so we weren’t really surprised. Amazing though that all the smaller brewers could enter beers of complexity and finesse, and the likes of Monteiths with all their resources, couldn’t pull off something decent. Come on guys, even Speights got it together!

4. Better advertising! We got to Wellington on Thursday (we wanted to be ready!) and saw almost nothing mentioning the festival anywhere.

Now the good stuff:

1. The bar staff! Even when they didn’t know their beer, they were consistantly extremely friendly, and welcoming (except Shed 5. They don’t know how to smile). Special mentions to:

• Imbibe, who put on a free Taieri George for the three of us when the Lunar Dunkel keg wasn’t quite working.
• Bar Bodega – Steph and (I think) Sally, really made us smile.
• Shed 22 – our favourite pub of the trip. And not just because they had Demonic Ruby. Friendly, fun people who looked like they were actually happy to be at work.

2. The quality of the entries. As I said, this was my first BrewNZ, so I can’t compare to other years, but I will definitely be back. Our faves were, in no particular order; Limburg Oud Reserve, Macs (Well, Wellington Brewing Company) Demonic Ruby, Sunshine Brewery’s Black
Beauty (it was HUGE!), and the understated, but delicious Tuatara ESB.

3. The fact that it’s in Wellington. Best city ever!

4. The excellent little “beer guide” infopak.

Well, that’s it until next year. Rest assured, there will be another trip next year!

There are some photos online, but be warned, the quality is terrible. I wasn’t in a good state to be using a camera!

I’ve been ripping all the old demo recordings my old band, Still, made in response to a couple of questions about them from people.

Still were:
Myself (guitar, vocals)
Paul Wansbone (guitar, bass, vocals)
Andrew Parsons (keys, bass)
Mel Parsons (was Brown) (drums)

and for a while
Steve Parkinson (guitar, bass, vocals)

Songs were written by Myself, Paul, and Steve, and arranged by the band.

Most of our stuff can be found here. It’s pretty raw, and yes, I can’t sing. I was most proud of My Place, which I wrote, and I Have Fallen, written by Paul.

Read on for the song notes, so I can apologise for things like Frown, which was never right, but could have been so much better. It makes me cringe just listening to it, so sorry… Zero-G is cool though…

I’ll put up some live stuff, when I get around to getting it digitised. Hopefully I can find some recordings of Steve’s songs as well…

Ok, notes on songs, one by one. I can only really comment on my songs from a writing perspective, but will have a crack at Paul’s from a playing perspective. He can correct me!

Reach For The Sky
This was meant to be a commentary on how we all get a bit desensitised to the stuff we see on TV, and some people use religion as a crutch to avoid the feelings of guilt that come from this disassociation. It also implies that a lot of it could be just an overreaction… The lyrics were pretty sophomoric, and I’m not sure I ever really got better.

This Love
The only “group composition” Still ever did. The chord progression was something Paul doodled on one of his first jams with Me, Andrew, and Mel. The lyrics were jotted down on the spot by me, and were never changed despite the fact that they are AWFUL! I figured all “epic songs” have crappy lyrics. Free Bird anyone? The piece as a whole was fleshed out by the band, and was our standard set closer – the last piece Still ever played. It got re arranged more times than George W. Bush declared someone a terrorist.

I Have Fallen
A Paul song. No idea what it’s about – all very psychedelic! I used to love playing lead guitar on this one live. One of my favourite Still songs, but the rest of the band (including Paul) never seemed to share my enthusiasm. When Paul left to go to the UK, Steve used to curse his name, as he had to sing it!

Walk Away
A song for moonlight walks, and making up. Bad lyrics. Again. Used to segue quite happily into The Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”, and we enticed Steve into the band by initially getting him to play flute over this!

Bleed
Angry music. ROAR! This one is about the frustration of all the things you just can’t fix. It had a tendency to get very Nine Inch Nails live.

Diary
A silly song. I was taken with the intro, which was a doodle, and was naive enough to think it was strong enough to make a good song out of. Return of the bride of the son of shitty lyrics. A body in the snow? What was I thinking??

What Happened Here
Dark Paul-ness. I liked this song because it was the only song I got to play bass on. A nice relaxing song for me, despite the dark subject matter.

First Year Love
I think this is Paul’s “Frown” – a song that is fairly simple, and with lots of potential, but that was just never meant to be a Still song. We massacred it. The scary thing is, this version is possibly the best one. Though there were some funny live versions. The funniest was where no one could remember which key it was in. I blame the Scotch!

Weather God
OK, this is just pure happiness. It was written about someone I never see any more, and whom I would have loved to have been able to make the sun come out for. Life is harder than music.

My Place
Goth guy meets goth girl. They go home together, play with sharp objects, fantasise about death…typical happy song really. No one dies. I wish we’d recorded the version we did later on with the more traditional guitar solo, instead of the odd little finger picked one I did here. I wanted it to sound disorienting against the 5/4 beat, but I don’t think it worked. Fun to play live, and a song I’m truly proud of.

For Fiona
A Paul song to his now wife. He says “it did it’s job, she married me didn’t she?” A fun song to play live. I got to use my ebow, which otherwise used to only get pulled out for particularly 70s versions of This Love.

Automatic
Another song I’m quite proud of, though my oringinal concept never really worked out. The lyrics work, but the third verse got dropped on this recording in favour of this odd hybrid of verses two and three…we were recording it, and I had a complete mind blank on the lyrics, but the take was as good as it was going to get otherwise, and Andrew and Mel said it was ok, so we left it. I LOVE Andrew’s piano solo on this song. It’s very King Crimson! It was kinda hard to get him to cut loose like that live – he’s quite shy! And miracle of miracles – I was happy with the lyrics.

Under Your Feet
Another GREAT Paul song. I might have had quantity, but he had quality. This song was so much fun to play guitar on.

Zero-G
An instrumental piece written solely as an introduction for Frown, such was my faith in Frown being that good. It wasn’t. It sucked. But I am happy with this little instrumental. i still find myself doodling with it on accoustic now and then. The keyboard isn’t a keyboard at all, but a Juno synth emulator on a PC. This makes it the only Still “song” that’s entirely my own work.

Frown
Another song inspired by a friend, though not really about her as such. More about self-destructive behaviour in general. A little dose of “it’ll be alright”, mixed with some “hey, I do give a shit.”, and a little bit of “thank you for understanding” thrown in there too. I had such high hopes for this song, but it just sounds terrible. Mel’s drumming is about the only thing I like, though even that doesn’t really sound right in this version. Paul and I used to have some nice little overlapping guitar parts live, but they’re not really here either. Ah well.

Long Story Short
I’ve just noticed that the original (fast/loud) version of this is nowhere to be found, and only the accoustic version remains. Probably for the best, it’s a far better song this way. This is kindof part one of the song that became Frown. Similar theme, just earlier in the piece. We all tend to think we’re immortal at times. Everything dies.

A footnote on the recordings
Stillicious was recorded at a friend of Andrew’s (John Rothery) in Otorohanga. We had never been in a studio before, and it was a learning experience. The quality of the recordings is very rough, but it is what it is.

Shortland Street was recorded at the York Street “B” studio on Shortland Street in Auckland. It was part of the infamous “Splash Promotions” sessions that ended up documented on a compilation CD of emerging NZ artists, including Tadpole, Lizard, and some other very cool bands. It was interesting working with a serious producer, who I won’t name due to the circumstances we acquired the DAT tapes under…

Bang (!) was recorded with Daniel Howard at Clicksound – well, Clicksound Mobile, on location at the now Defunct JBC bar in Hamilton. We rushed it, and it shows. But we were very very poor, so didn’t have a lot of options. You’ll note that certain tracks from Shortland Street made their way onto this collection. It was a bit hush hush at the time. I played a borrowed guitar (thanks Daren!) on this (except for overdubs on For Fiona) as my gear was stolen around this time. I had my new gear by the time we did the For Fiona overdubs and mixdown to DAT.