Brewaucracy

I came across Phil Parkin on twitter due to a mention from well known author and beer blogger Pete Brown. I followed him, and learned he was making a film on a subject which immediately tickled my fancy. I’ve always been amused and a little intrigued by trainspotters. Trainspotting is a remarkably British hobby/obsession. It involves cataloging locomotive numbers – effectively “collecting” rolling stock. The method is fairly simple. You spot a train, and write down its unique number – you “tick it off the list”. This sort of thing strikes a chord with me, as I’m a tiny bit OCD (aren’t we all about something?) and am something of a completist. If I like a band, I need to have everything they’ve ever released. If I enjoy a TV show, I have to see every episode. Since I like beer, I feel a need to drink every one I can find. I am, it seems, a variety of a new breed of trainspotters who “spot” beers. Beertickers. Phil’s film is called Beertickers: beyond the ale and is all about “us”.

The rules, as Phil explains, are simple. You find a new beer, you drink it, you tick it (write it down). Sounds a little dull? How can someone make a whole film about this? Ah, there’s the magic. The journey we are taken on in the quest for ticks is funny, educational, entertaining, and sometimes enlightening. Phil is a very engaging person, who introduces us to characters like Brian the Champ – the reigning king of beer ticking with over 40,000 unique beers under his belt, Dave Unpronounceable – a likable chap who is more scooper than ticker, and Mick the Tick – arguably the man who invented beer ticking as a hobby. These chaps, and others, show us different takes on the world of ticking. Brian the Champ is the archetypal ticker. He’s just interested in the numbers, and while he is clearly passionate about, and proud of, his native country’s ultimate asset (real ale), he thinks nothing of tricks like bottling samples of ale for later consumption as a way to get more ticks from a single session. I can’t imagine that the flavour and condition of a good ale would be preserved by this method, so what Brian drinks from those bottles isn’t, in my opinion, technically the same beer which went into them. This raises an interesting question as to whether it is really a tick at that point. Luckily for those of you reading this and nodding off, the film does not address this deep question! Dave Unpronounceable, and his partner in crime Gazza, are more the scooper type. They are at the outer edge though, as even though for them, it’s beer enjoyment before ticks, even Dave resorts (albeit somewhat shamefacedly) to bottling some beers when his circumstances dictate a lack of time for some serious sampling.

Phil’s journey from interested outsider to devoted ticker (or more accurately, scooper) throughout the course of the film made for an engaging watch. Of particular interest to me was the fact that he took his new hobby as an opportunity to learn more about beer. Such was his dedication that he even went to Thornbridge Hall to brew his own beer. It was nice to hear a Kiwi accent in the film at this point, as Thornbridge’s NZ brewer, Kelly Ryan, walked Phil through brewing a batch of Jaipur IPA with “Phil’s secret ingredients” – a variation on the hop varieties usually used. Having a friend who moved to England and now brews at Thornbridge made this part even better for me. It amuses me to think that, as the man behind the new Raven black IPA at Thornbridge, James “Kempicus” Kemp will now be giving conniptions to tickers all over the UK as they seek out this limited edition beer for ticking purposes!

Now, before people start avoiding me (more than usual), let me point out that I do not go to the lengths described in this film. I’m more what’s called a “Scooper”. Scoopers are tickers who are more interested in trying and tasting new beers rather than just collecting ticks. In other words, the drinking of the beer is the point, not the ticking it off a list. Scoopers drink for variety and flavour, and will happily drink a beer they’ve already had if it’s a good drop and they feel like revisiting it. A true ticker would consider that a waste of an opportunity to drink a new beer. So really, I’m not that far gone in the scheme of things!

I can heartily recommend this film, though it can be a little tricky to obtain for overseas customers. Your best bet is to contact Phil via his website. He kindly arranged an alternative order method for me, and shipping was quick, reasonably priced, and came with a personal message. Don’t be put off by this one little extra hoop to jump through. Quick Feet is a small independent production company, and doesn’t have the resources of large companies. The end result is well worth it. I didn’t stop smiling throughout the entire film.

UPDATE: Phil comments below “Anyone wishing to buy the film can simply visit the film’s official website ( beertickersfilm.com ) and click buy. I will happily post out overseas! Spread the word, drink beer and enjoy.”